Ah yes, another Valentine’s Day alone. Not that it bothers me, though it might bother some romantic asexuals. I love Valentine’s Day. To me, Valentine’s Day is the day when you have just one box of chocolate, while waiting for the rest to go on sale. It means that pretty soon, there are going to be boxes and boxes of cool little cards with Pokemon, The Simpsons, Transformers, Little Mermaid, etc on sale for like 25 cents. Because unlike candy, valentine’s day cards are pretty much worthless after Valentine’s.
And I like to tack the cards up on my walls.
Not to mention themed T-shirts, giant plushies, greeters, etc.
In other words, Valentine’s Day is to me what it is actually meant to be: an orgy of consumerist delight.
That said, for all those interested in my rather sad excuse for a love life, here’s a report on that.
It’s not good. Not good at all. I decided to abandon my usual approach to love/romance, I.e complete passivity, that is, waiting for my knight or knightess in shiny armor to find me, and actually go out looking.
Since I’m not particularly interested in having a million non-asexuals asking me ignorant questions about my asexuality, insist they can convert me with their peens (if you think I’m exaggerating or stereotyping, just check out Swankivy’s reports of her experiences on Okcupid), and I would much rather date someone who I know will understand my asexuality, I decided to pursue asexuals only.
If you know anything about asexuality at all, then you probably know that most of us are physically very distant; that is, a lot of us are probaby the only out asexuals in their town or area. So hoping to physically run into another asexual and date them, or meet them through work, or any of the other ways most people meet the people they will date, is pretty much a great way to die alone.
And so we turned to the internet, to the ace-dating sites that are so often advised as the means by which an ace should find a date, in all of the “I’m sick of being alone” posts out there. I went with Ace-book. People say it is dead, people say all the asexual dating sites are pretty dead.
So far, no luck. No one has messaged me first, and so I decided to take the initiative and message other people. Most people simply ceased communicating. Some ceased communicating after I explained what ‘neutrois’ meant. I am rather hoping that’s just a coincidence, rather than the timing meaning anything. To be honest, that was surprising; most asexuals on AVEN and tumblr seem fairly hip to all things queer. The crowd on Ace-book does seem to consist a lot less of typical internet nerds. There are a lot less people on there that have things like “feminism, video games, manga” etc in their profile interests, than on other ace spaces.
As for the cease in communication; that is probably typical of all dating sites; someone realizes you’re not the type that knocks their socks off, and gives up on you. It’s worth noting, however, that I originally made an ace-book account to meet more asexual friends (my potential partner interest being listed as “just pals”) but I haven’t even found one anyone for that.
It doesn’t really have me down; I am only 22 years old after all, and it wouldn’t matter if I was 32, 42, etc. There’s a lot of life left to live and find someone in. Not that I mind being Valentines-less forever, if that’s the way it turns out. I’m in good company with myself after all. I suppose the next step will by trying other ace dating sites, and perhaps the ace-dating tumblrs.